Hello albb,

You sound just like me. I moved to a new continent five years ago for school, I got married (my husband is from this continent and has family, friends, and a job here). On top of that, a few months ago I moved to a completely new city. I don’t have a job, friends, or family here. I know that it is a very hard situation and it takes a lot of effort to stay sane. But I try to see it as a time of transition and constantly remind myself that things will change. And it is in your hands to make this change.

I understand that you want to be like your “old self.” I feel like that too most of the time. But then I remind myself that life is evolving and I am here to adopt to it (that’s something I read in a psychology book). I used to say that “I never used to be like this”– a while ago I understood that change happens and it is in your hands to create “new (better) you.” The past was great, but let the past be in the past. Look to the future, you cannot change the past, but can do something to create a better future.

Like you, my funds are limited and I cannot join paid classes or get a hobby (because hobbies cost too much!). But have you considered volunteering? Perhaps you can do an internet search about volunteering options that are close to you (within walking distance or very close so you don’t spend too much gas/bus fare). It doesn’t have to take over your whole day, just a few days a week. You could volunteer at an animal shelter, museum, club helping younger students, adults… Whatever your interests are… That’s a way to make new friends.

Also about the fear that people might not like you: I used to think like you a few years ago, but the truth is, there will be people who will like you and others who won’t. I’ve come to accept this fact, and since then, I have been feeling much better. We don’t have to get along with everybody in this world but there will always be people who will be our good friends. The key is to meet as many people as possible. You will click with some of these people and will have lasting friendships.

Finally, you are not a spoiled brat. All of us have difficult times in life and it will pass. It is in your hands to change your perspective. This change may not happen in one day, but since you are here, it looks like you are willing to change your perspective.

I just wanted to share some of the wisdom that helped me in a situation like yours. Hope it helps you too.