Well I hate to feel bothersome just adding to my story here haha….at this point I am just so emotionally worn down based on things that happened over the last 2 days that I really don’t know where else to state my feelings about events at the moment….

My ideas that we could ‘civilly’ handle the crisis I laid out about ‘not being in love anymore’ have totally gone out the window. It’s been turned into events with everything from him yelling insults at me in front of the kids, with me and the kids crying at points (In which he said he was happy to see me cry because I just seem like an emotionless robot to him otherwise), to him crying and begging me not to leave and apologizing for the last few years over and over, back to him talking about how he’s done no wrong and he has many issues with how I’m being a ‘mother’…..and he doesn’t believe the things that hurt me were anything he needs to apologize for because they were ‘true’. For example “You’re not living up to your duties as a mother because I often come home to chaos and no supper on the table” , “You deciding to go to University part time totally went against what our original plan was with you staying at home and has made you neglect the kids” , “I better keep track of my own finances now because if we separate I’m going to be the one providing for the kids since you can’t” …it goes on….. and now today it’s back to “I want you to try harder to be affectionate to me so we can work this out” …. I feel like now I just Have to owe that to him whether or not I feel in love anymore is beside the point……I know it really hurt him to say I’m not in love anymore and as he stated many times “I did so much for you, and complimented you all the time, and supported your random interests, etc. and this is all I get back” but really…that’s now how I felt the last couple years….