Thank you very much for replying.
First, I must say that now I feel better sometimes, when I’m close to my family (I find that when I spend time with my parents I feel better afterwards), and at night (I’m usually feel very calm and even ok with the memory at night). Usually I feel very confident at night and see things in a more positive way but during the day it rarely happens.
I feel anxiety and depression when I have nothing to do (I don’t have a job or friends), when I analyze it or when I analyze what the people I know will think about it or even my future wife. I try to get rational with it but sometimes it come back (maybe I fear the anxiety itself?)
I also feel down when I’m alone, when I feel like I get no one that I can talk to at the present moment, when I think about going and finding a job, or about my future.

My mother was ok with it. She told me that I was young and a lot of kids do those stupid things because of sexual curiosity.
Before I started worrying about it I was worrying about other things (stupid things) but it wasn’t something that “stuck” like that in my mind.

To be honest, as I writing this I feel like I understand what I need to change about life. Maybe I’m too lonely/isolated.
I sit a lot of hours on the computer at home and I don’t get out to walks or with family members/friends.

What is the best way to get out of it?

And I’m very sorry if my English is not perfect, it is not my first language.
Thank you!