Home→Forums→Relationships→Long distance struggles?
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March 9, 2015 at 1:42 pm #73762JudyParticipant
A little over a year ago, I started dating this incredible guy, someone who knew how to make me smile and feel so incredibly comfortable. I can say without any hesitation that this man is my best friend. He knows things about me that no one else knows. He treats me with the upmost respect and honesty. He cares about me immensely. But we live states away from each other. Our long-distance relationship is one of the lucky ones where we can see each other for a weekend or more every two or three months. During those times, it’s beautiful. We spend time with our families, friends, and most importantly, each other.
However, the past week, we broke up. I was visiting him during my university’s spring break, and it was a disaster from the start. We were getting into petty little fights, and eventually, I brought up that neither of us seemed happy. He agreed that he wasn’t happy in our relationship. That the arguments, the jealousy, the stress was all too much. So that night, he broke up with me. However, I was the one that was calm and encouraging to him. I held him as he cried on my shoulder for hours, saying that he didn’t want to lose my best friend. Saying that he loved me so much more than his ex girlfriend, despite the short amount of physical time we spent together. During all of this, I held him and told him he would be okay and be with someone amazing that would take care of him the way I do. For the first time, I felt like he actually loved me and cared about me as a person.
A few hours after I left for my hotel, he called me asking to talk. He said that he talked to his mom, someone very close to both of us, and said that she gave her insight. He said that his mom didn’t believe the unhappiness he felt was because of me, but because he puts too much pressure and expectation in every aspect of his life. She believed that this was always something he struggled with and that his temper towards these things shouldn’t be attributed to me. She said that she strongly thought that we, as a couple, were a great fit and that letting someone go just because of unhappiness isn’t a reason to let go. She believes that unhappiness in a relationship can be worked on, and built together. And then he asked me to try again.
In the course of 48 hours, we went from breaking up to getting back together and me not fully processing what happened. But now that I’m back home, I’m struggling with moving past this. He means the world to me, and I want a future with him. If anyone is worth working for and struggling through a long-distance relationship with, it’s him. It’s just .. hard to trust again. It’s hard to let go of everything that happened and not fear that it’ll happen again. I just want some insight from other people to see what I should do..
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