Hello sister,

You are really at crucial moment of your life. And it is natural that you might feel very anxious about your future. If you are thinking about meaning and purpose of life then it is certain that you might feel much more depressed, because answer to this question varies from person to person and it also changes with time. Therefore, I will ask you to stop thinking about it, because it is possible that with your current level of knowledge you might not get required answer. But it is also possible that if you will keep on moving then one day you might realise your own definition of life.

But I also know that it’s very difficult to tame the mind if it doesn’t get any satisfactory answer. Therefore we need a practical tool also along with theory to deal with this situation. Therfore I will advise you to look into “Vipassana” Insight meditation for your present problems. Only problem about Vipassana is that it’s very difficult and intense form of meditation in which we practice mindfullness of breath and bodily sensations in order to understand true nature of mind. Modern medical science really don’t understand true nature of mind and hence it’s solutions to psychological problems are far from perfect and produce many side-effects on the body.

I will certainly ask you to give this technique a try.
These courses are scheduled all around the year and have centres all around the world. Just find a suitable vipassana meditation course nearby your locality. You can get cenre info from website : “http://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index” . It’s the main website for course registration and they are completely free of cost with no hidden charges. The courses are purely run on donations by the volunteers and old vipassana meditators who have been benefited by the meditations.

Following are some other important websites and links about Vipassana Meditation.
1. http://livingvipassana.com/ (Blog on Vipassana by some vipassana meditators about their personal experience)
2. http://www.pariyatti.org/ (You can find lots of resources and free ebooks about Vipassana here)

Following are talks and documentaries on Vipassana

I’m certain that with Vipassana you can have much better control over your mind and one day you might get answers to your questions about life and it’s meaning. Because it will clear your mind and will make your mind calm. And with calm, clear and equanimous mind you can handle all the situations in your life in a much better controlled manner.
If you want any more info about vipassana then just search the web. You can also read my reply in the following post where I’ve again discussed about vipassana: “http://tinybuddha.com/topic/what-the-hell-am-i-supposed-to-do/”

My Best Wishes to you.