Dear Blue1234,
I had good parents, not abusive, very supportive…good childhood. For some reason I went to the “dark side” as a young adult, got into drugs, hung around the same and ended up with a couple really abusive boyfriends…It took YEARS for me to get my self esteem back to the point where I could function with confidence…where I had inner peace.
The turning point came when I DECIDED to make the change…Later, I looked back and wondered what the heck happened. After reading your post, I can see myself in you. Clearly when we allow a person in our life that does not uplift us, that TRIES to bring us down and FEEDS on that process ~ our self esteem is in check.
Realize you have value and you need to disengage this friendship. Notice I did not say END. Just move on…At 52 I have found that not all friends stick around for the long haul. Very few do. Infact, that is a sign I feel, of evolution. I have evolved out of the person who allowed abusive people in my life. I have no time.
Perhaps the book co-dependent no more would help. It’s pretty well known and it helped me to plan my escape.
Here’s a tool for you that requires no reading or purchasing of anything…
… make a vocabulary of positive words, any words that you find positive and uplifting…and maybe try just saying these words to yourself a LOT. In the shower, on your way to class, after leaving class, in line at the store, while putting on your socks…anytime and everytime you have a MOMENT.
That could be step one…
Step two…I must agree with Will
GET A DIFFERENT ROOMMATE!!!
You can NOT do this soon enough. RUN, GET AWAY, DISTANCE YOURSELF, and keep talking to yourself with positive UPLIFTING words.
Hope you flea the situation as soon as possible.