Dear afxlaw

So you are very hurt…

I believe what your counselor is trying to say is that as adults we have the capabillity to be autonomous, but i agree with you that a more fullfilling life includes the sharing of love with people who care for us. We can be autonomous at work, but we are emotionals beings as well. If your relatives and friends systematically hurt you you should speak about your feelings without guilt. They can’t know how you feel until you share with them how you trully feel right now. Even if you have anger and pain. It is not healthy to bury these feelings inside you. After that you may recieve a warmfull or cold response. But you will know after which people want to be with you and which people want favors from you…

This is a difficult situation you are going through. I admire your strenth but you deserve a loving person that can support you. Only a superhuman being could remain alone. We humans need validation, caring, support, friends, a sense of security, trust.

” I don’t understand how she couldn’t love me. ” I can’t express the pain you must feel articulating this thought. My father is an alcoholic and my mother was a scared little woman who didn’t have the tiniest idea about raising a family so she let me babysitted through all my childhood. Whenever i tried to hug my parents i was called a coward by my father or “gay” (my father is crypto-racist) and my mother would make excuses (“don’t hug me its too hot in here”).

I wish i could tell you it doesn’t hurt anymore… The only solution i see for this is that i go to a therapist once a week and i share my pain, eveltually hoping that i will find the strenth to put the past behind me. And i am saying this because maybe you feel the need to cry for the injustice you suffered as a child! Maybe you have the need to be listened without being critisided!

You say you want to quit feeling sorry for your self. What do you mean by that? You want to feel strong again? Just like in the past where you didn’t need anyone and you just worked hard? But at that point of your life you couldn’t stand up for what you deserved that being your rightfully earned wage or your friends friendship! What do you really need right now?

You have proven many times in the past that you are capable. Your story is an inspiring struggle for survival and for claiming one’s dreams. You have created your own business and family regardless if things are not going very well now. This is natural, it happens to everyone. So maybe you don’t need to prove your self again… Maybe you need someone to take care of you?(that may be your therapist, your friends, your future friends, etc). Please don’t assume i know everything.I am making this assumption based on my own experience as well as your story. What matter the most is how you answer to this question: What do you really need right now?

Best regards
George

• This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by George.
• This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by George.