Emmett, no one can tell you what to do. Why don’t you find out what your motivation of you missing V is? Is there a way to contact her? There wouldn’t be anything odd about contacting her after four years (if you haven’t been in touch in that time). What stops you from approaching her? Is it fear? Don’t allow fear to get in your way. Acknowledge that it is there and do it anyway. I believe the only way to figure out what is really going on is to get in touch with her, maybe share with her what is going on inside of you. You might think now ” Oh, if I do that she must think I’m a loser or a weak or that I don’t know what I want.” Yeah, that’s the inner critic, your fear again, trying to protect you from being rejected or similar. But you know what? Against all those assumptions of what is bad or weak, I tell you this: Showing vulnerability, showing who you really are is THE expression of inner strength. Because at this point, you stop pretending to b someone who you are not. Because you show to the outside what moves you. Because you stop pleasing others and let your fear control you. SO go for it. contact her and see what happens.

All the best!