Wow. That is so rough. He clearly wants to be kind to you, but he just doesn’t want to be with you. I’m so sorry for your pain.

What you do now is slowly put yourself back together one day at a time. At least you know it’s done and he’s not coming back, so you can close the door on any uncertainty even if you don’t know why things didn’t work out. You should know that it’s OK to still love him. It doesn’t mean you can’t live without him, it just means that your love for him is going to hurt for a while. But in the end, he has to be true to his heart, as well. You both tried, and it didn’t work. It was never going to work. You didn’t do anything wrong. You just weren’t right for each other.

Make an effort to eat well, but be kind to yourself when that’s just not possible right now, and try again at the next meal. Try to go to sleep at a regular time, avoid coffee, do some exercise and all that stuff that’s supposed to help you sleep. But again, forgive yourself if you don’t manage it, and try again the next day.

Keep making the effort. Keep going till the day is done. And then tackle the next day. You will love again. Life will regain its colour. Believe in life. All my best wishes.