Hi Lesley,
Im glad its made you feel a bit better, same with me!! its good to know that we are not the only ones going through this. Its just so hard to get over it all..and I know it will just take time. I just get mad at myself for only imagining myself happy with him. We had been together for five months, dating to begin with but spending all our time together. as i said we lived in different cities about an hour apart, but he would message and try plan the weekend and be like thats great we have plans sorted. he’d come stay with me for the three nights over the weekend..introduce me to his work collegues as his other half. We then properly spoke about being in a relationship just before Christmas, I left for two weeks for Christmas. He tried to even buy me a different plane ticket back to we could spend new years together. January was amazing..we literally spent only a couple of nights apart, he moved in by end of January and about two weeks later is when he started cheating.. I only found out in March. But I knew there as something up. My gut told me. I asked him plenty of times..but he would just say it was work,,he was tired. I’ll never understand how he could keep spending time with me telling me how happy he was just to be messaging someone else and cheating!! And then to spend a full month after getting caught trying to make things right… just to turn around and tell me he met a girl in a bar and knew straight away it was something amazing!! im actually cringing writing all this!! why am i still pining after him!!! its crazy!!!!!! lol!!!! I still miss what we had, but i need to keep reminding myself he is a liar and a cheat and we didnt really have what I thought!!! I just will never understand why anyone would deliberately betray who they are with. what is the point! And then to say i was the one who pushed him away… he never blamed me for cheating but said my constand questioning and looking at his past pushed him away and he couldnt love me!! how to kick someone when they are down!!!
But ya, same as you…trying hard to redirect my thoughts when i think off the good stuff!! have stopped myself checking his whatsapp to see when he was online!! all i was doing was imagining who he was messaging!!!
It just sucks that this has had to happen to us doesnt it!!! why cant people just be honest and upfront!!!
same to you though if you ever need to vent or chat!! drop me a line !! 🙂