Hi Lesley,
Its funny how you say you regret not spending more time with him during the week, my regret is the opposite!! i think i spent too much time with my ex!! and that just took the spontaneity out off things… lol! it shows we did nothing wrong!!!

My ex spent over a month apologising after getting caught and telling me that it was almost a good thing now that everything was out on the table and we could move forward! (he had said that my constant questioning over his past made him lose the passion and spark for us..and he lost the passion for the sex!! hence when someone came up and showd him interest he took it!! RUBBISH i realise now!! ) anyhow… it was hard but i tried to get back and just got upset so after a week or so i asked for a break (couldnt forget what he did, even though it was amazing between us i couldnt stop thinking about it).
I took a couple of days and i messaged him..he was out and asked me to come up to see him… he really missed me … i said no … i still needed time..and guess what ..he met the woman off his dreams about an hour later!! its kinda laughable!
now i did the same.. questioned myself if i had gone to meet him would it all be ok… but it wouldnt.. if a guy can cheat a guy can cheat!! they are going to do it at some stage when the going gets tough!! and the fact that he just met someone one at a bar and could throw away us after begging for forgiveness after cheating just shows how weak he was!
so no the girl he cheated with hes never seen again, i think she knew in the end to be honest!! I seen all the messages and she lost interest in him.. i think she looked up facebook and realised he was going out with someone!

I am the same as you though.. i gave him a chance because i think well people make mistakes. but i just couldnt accept it, a full month of chasing another girl is not just one mistake!!! and even after what he did to me after it all, running after me just to dump me again, i still find myself missing what we had!
same as you..missing having someone to text.. sit and watch movies and drink wine with! and the most hurtful thing is I know he has moved on and is dating people.. (the girl he met in the bar just before he told me it was defo all over was just on holidays!! but he had the neck to say she wasnt just a randomer, that they both knew it was something special!! )

I have gone on a few dates.. but just find myself comparing everyone to him!! which is completely ridiculous!

Its funny I was the exact same as you..i couldnt believe i had met someone like him and that id finally put all the crappy relationships behind me. but i think behind it all i thought it was too good to be true..and i think thats why i really dug at his past ( he was divorced after seven years marraige..and hopped straighed into a three year on/off relationship with a girl and inbetween that had a six month relationship with another girl!! then a three month thing with a girl who he told me he loved but she left him..then me!! god writing that down it just looks crazy!!! i should have ran really!!! lol!!!)

its great writing all this as reading it i realise how ridiculous it is!! and how manipulative he was!! everyone that knew him loved him…said how much he cared for me.. he had us all fooled!!!!
Ya i think the moving in was too much for him..although it was only meant to be for a month or two till he sorted a place out.. its no excuse though..he should have just walked away.
Your definitely right though..its no reflection on us. I think certain people are capable of doing things like that, it just shows a complete lack of respect and not a nice character behind it all.
Reading your messages help so much!! thank you..hope mine do too!!!!
I read a really good article earlier… you should read it

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3644/in-praise-of-dumping-a-cheater/

xxxx

Hi Lesley,
Im glad its made you feel a bit better, same with me!! its good to know that we are not the only ones going through this. Its just so hard to get over it all..and I know it will just take time. I just get mad at myself for only imagining myself happy with him. We had been together for five months, dating to begin with but spending all our time together. as i said we lived in different cities about an hour apart, but he would message and try plan the weekend and be like thats great we have plans sorted. he’d come stay with me for the three nights over the weekend..introduce me to his work collegues as his other half. We then properly spoke about being in a relationship just before Christmas, I left for two weeks for Christmas. He tried to even buy me a different plane ticket back to we could spend new years together. January was amazing..we literally spent only a couple of nights apart, he moved in by end of January and about two weeks later is when he started cheating.. I only found out in March. But I knew there as something up. My gut told me. I asked him plenty of times..but he would just say it was work,,he was tired. I’ll never understand how he could keep spending time with me telling me how happy he was just to be messaging someone else and cheating!! And then to spend a full month after getting caught trying to make things right… just to turn around and tell me he met a girl in a bar and knew straight away it was something amazing!! im actually cringing writing all this!! why am i still pining after him!!! its crazy!!!!!! lol!!!! I still miss what we had, but i need to keep reminding myself he is a liar and a cheat and we didnt really have what I thought!!! I just will never understand why anyone would deliberately betray who they are with. what is the point! And then to say i was the one who pushed him away… he never blamed me for cheating but said my constand questioning and looking at his past pushed him away and he couldnt love me!! how to kick someone when they are down!!!
But ya, same as you…trying hard to redirect my thoughts when i think off the good stuff!! have stopped myself checking his whatsapp to see when he was online!! all i was doing was imagining who he was messaging!!!
It just sucks that this has had to happen to us doesnt it!!! why cant people just be honest and upfront!!!
same to you though if you ever need to vent or chat!! drop me a line !! 🙂