Anita,
I agree! I actually said to him in response (I left this out originally): You think it is MY fault that you acted that way? Threw things, told me to shut up, f*ck off? Because those were your actions.” In the moment, I stood up for myself. In the moment of doing that, I told him he could not talk to me that way and that he needed to relax–it is not ok to throw things.

He has never acted like this in the past. I probably come off as some abused girlfriend or something–but he was not like this ever before. I think I caught him at a bad time–work is hard, family life is in crisis, and now this fight. But I think 10 days of reflection–even 1 day–would be enough for someone with any insight to see and accept any responsibility for how things went down. In the past after a fight, he would always make right, even though it was never this bad.

The last thing he texted me, after I called and asked him to call me, and if I could come over to talk about it that night, was “I prefer you not come back. I need positive vibes, not negative.” That makes me feel like I am the source of negativity in his life. And it feels horrible.