Hi James,

Glad to know that you have a group of close friends whom you see on a regular basis. Have you ever considered seeing a life coach or speaking to a counselor about your fears etc? Here, we can only give you suggestions and all this interaction is solely via “written words”. Perhaps you can try talking to a trained professional in person and that might be better?
In any case, whatever small habits or changes you seek in your life, the effort has to be sustained and sustainable for at least weeks.
I’m thinking maybe you need to modify your thought patterns and that requires some offline help. CBT is a way as suggested earlier and you can pick up a book on this topic at the library. What you described sounds like a self-limiting belief and sabotaging behavior out of fear or lack of confidence etc. There might be other underlying reasons as well from childhood in some people’s cases. What articles have you read on here?

Best,
A