Oh Paul, you sound like a sweet heart. I know it must hurt terribly, but you should not be with this woman. She may mean well, but she is not trying to meet your needs. If you tell someone you love them and they reply with “I know you do.” it’s a safe bet they are not invested in you. She may love you and want you around but that is probably to fill holes within herself she can only fix herself. There is a woman out there who is whole, will meet your needs, she will tell you she loves you everyday, she will make you feel beautiful, wanted, and secure. You will happily listen to and respect each others’ needs because you know each other are good for reciprocation. Let this woman down kindly and pursue things you’ve always wanted to, really live your life Paul, no one will live it for you. You will be no good for her anyways when you are unhappy.