Charlierae,

Consider you may have some anxiety about peer pressure from old buddies leading you astray. Your gorilla chase reminds me of your id “chasing the high”. Together, perhaps your inner child is noticing that before you started socially drinking, you were fine alone. But after socially drinking, habituation kicked in and you chased and chased an alcohol buzz. Then, you quit, grew sober, walked away from that lifestyle.

Congrats on your accomplishment. One day at a time, friend, keep going!

With warmth,
Matt