Hi Charlie,

Addictions happen when the mind is trying to feel “good” as a substitute for feeling safe. And when the mind feels unsafe, unfortunately, you can’t just walk away from the issues that are causing you to feel that way.

Healing can be a long process, but it will involve looking at the “lessons” you learned from your parents and redefining them. What did you learn about yourself from them? What misunderstandings do you have about yourself? Any thought that doesn’t feel good should be questioned, so that you can redefine it. Here is an article I wrote, regarding that: http://www.onlinetherapyandcoaching.org/blog/2015/6/24/how-to-deal-with-negative-thoughts .

After that, the next step is to understand that your parents did the best they could with the tools that they had, and to ultimately forgive them. Whether you stay in touch with them is your choice, and nobody can make that for you.

You’ve got a long road ahead of you, so be patient with yourself. You made a good first step, by focusing on the emotional issues that were causing your drinking and other habits.

I wish you the best!

Bethany