Dear Annie, from the two things you mentioned “It may feel as if to her that you don’t love her enough to let her be on her own or that you are forcing her to stay with you” I don’t think it is either, she knows very well how I feel. She knows that I have been patient and understanding of this complicated situation. I think that she realized that she was hurting me by being close and then pushing me away. It got to the point where she did a lot of thinking and said I only like you as a friend. Two weeks ago she brought up about if things keeping going like this will we move to chicago or stay here and talking about marriage and scenarios about the two different customs we have as I am American and how we do our traditional ceremonies. Then a week later she went distant. Until she started to think about somethings and her feelings that were leaving her bipolar and confused. It took a while for her to open up to me. She didn’t kiss or have sex with a guy for two years. We would go out as friends and of course I would get a little upset when the night didn’t end in a kiss and she realized that. She always told me that she is not ready and it is a choice, for whatever motive that she just doesn’t want to be involved with someone. We stopped talking for a couple months last year and when we talked again things started to move a long. May of this year we kissed and started a relationship. I love this girl, and I demonstrated to her how I feel. I respect how she feels and even though I am hurting, I feel a little relieved that I don’t want to experience those highs and lows. I would want it to be steady. It has indeed been difficult like a roller coaster. She mentioned to me that everything happening is scary for her and just afraid to get hurt and to hurt me.

The last thing you mentioned, we came to terms that being just friends wouldn’t work. That if she changed her mind then to send me a message and we can set up a time to go out and have fun. It wasn’t like an obligation but my intentions was to leave the door open for her.