Dear DXM:

In my previous comment to you I wrote: “Your intellect is good. You write like the intelligent person that you are, but your awareness of your emotions is what lags way, way behind your intellectual understanding.”

In response you wrote: “I think you are right about my lack of emotional development and understanding it’s definitely a longstanding problem. I’m working on it, but it takes time.”

i have a suggestion on how you can work on your emotional development on this very thread: let go of your very impressive intellect (“rational mind”) and write like a young child, simple language, short sentences, run on sentences, anything. Simple, let the little child in you do the writing, see what results.

that child in you needs to become visible to YOU before you become visible to others (or at the same time). You wrote about your physical characteristics not being attractive- and that may very well be so. But as you know there are physically unattractive people out there with partners who love them. So both may be true: you may be physically unattractive AND you can love and be loved.

Write again, like a child, like the child that you are inside?
anita