Thank you Anita, Helen and Topanga ( your English is perfect 😀 ) for all of your kind words and help.
I am trying to put all of these tips into my daily life, smile at the little things, help people, smile at people, get a hobbies ( I go to the gym and do rock climbing) , I am fully aware of all things I am grateful for, especially when I compare my life to many overs in the world.

But I just feel like:

I am on a lead, all of the things I trying give me some more room to run about with, but I am still not free. I still feel attached to the lead.

Maybe with time it will get better.

Thank you all very much, I really appreciate your help and time.

Logan