Hi All,

I’m back posting again. I posted back in June about an internship and moving across the country for it and struggling with that and more recently in this particular forum about purpose and stuff. So, to connect the two here I’m over the halfway point of my internship and it’s cool but I’m not overjoyed or super excited about it each week necessarily but I’ve gotten feedback that I’m doing a good job but need to be more engaged in meetings and open about what if anything I’d like to learn etc. For Labor Day, I went home to visit for the weekend a day I thought would never come when I first moved out for the internship. It was good, same old family and home same struggles we deal with but it was enjoyable. Of course, throughout my time out where my internship is at I’ve been struggling and my mom has been well aware. So, we talked at length really once while I was at home and it was good. I voiced that I wanted to return home after the internship and she was fine with it and my plan to get a job and stuff. Later on before she took me to the airport to leave on Labor Day, she was having a down day she said she was proud of me and just wanted me to be happy. She knows that I’m not happy where I’m at. Anyway, once I came back pretty immediately(a few days) I become overcome with being unhappy(wouldn’t call it sad) and wondering about life and my purpose, not to mention we got pretty busy at work with the shortened week.
Anyway, in my 3 months soon to be 4 months out at my internship and where I’m living I’ve been wrestling with a lot of things notably purpose and happiness and just living life I guess. I’m not sure public relations is what i want to do for a living but it’s what I got a very costly(LOANS!!) degree in and what I’m evidently doing a good job at. I don’t hate my internship but I’m not over the moon about it and I guess realistically in life you’re gonna be somewhere in between what I just described. I want to get that in that next job or direction I go in my life. I think that’ll help with happiness etc. I guess on to living life, I’d like to and I think it’s normal to have a few friends, get out and do things in the area, have hobbies but I don’t have that out where I’m at in for the obvious reason is I don’t like where I’m at as I’d like to be close to my family and a place I know. To be frank back home I don’t have things things either of course my family is there. I feel like I’m not living life how I should. I have a college degree, a internship in a nice part of the country and all I often can think about is how I want to leave this place and how unsure I am about my purpose or career.
I do know that the journalism classes( my degree) I took were cool but I without a doubt enjoyed my English and History classes I took the most. I know or at least think I know that I like to help people(helping my family if I have the means too)and I like sports and stuff. I recently admitted or told people at my job about what I’d like to do following the internship which is return home and I didn’t feel bad because I felt I was being real and truthful. I guess I’m at the point of riding out the internship which is about 8 weeks and the only certainty is I’ll be going home the day after I’m done.
I guess this wasn’t really a question or seeking advice. Just venting so I apolgoize. Any insights or advice would be appreciated
Thanks, M