Wow! I am truly amazed at the responses this post has received! Before I write anything else, I want to thank Anita, Gill, Inky and Lori for taking the time to not only read this very long post (Damn, is there a way to edit this? Make it shorter? Argh!) and for your very thoughtful comments. I also appreciate your well wishes. (And Lori’s compliment. I actually am a writer!)
So let me offer some clarifications:
@Lori: Stef and I chatted maybe once a week, or every other week, and not for very long. I hope no one here thinks that I’ve been spending hours and hours and hours chatting with this woman. Not at all. Most of our chats were about things like books, politics, life, etc. But one night a long time ago we briefly — and I mean for maybe two minutes — talked about two kinky things she did when we were together. That’s all. Ann never saw it. And when Stef said “maybe this could be the year we meet,” she didn’t mean it in a flirty way. It was very matter of fact, as was my response. In hindsight, I should have said that Ann and I could take her out to dinner. (Stef sent Ann a friend request shortly after we started ties. Ann thought it was odd, but accepted it, and they did chat a few times about books and movies. They are no longer friends, I don’t know when or how that ended).
We’re starting to get into Anita’s last reply a little bit too, so …
@Lori/Anita: When I chose the words I wrote to Stef, I knew what I meant. When I looked at the iPad in the morning, I saw the same words there. No problem. But then I looked at it again and noticed that I had made no mention of Ann joining us. At that point I thought Ann could probably interpret that three ways — that Stef and I were planning to meet (1) with Ann, for dinner or something, (2) without Ann, but it wouldn’t be a secret, or (3) a secret meeting and who knows what would happen from there.
In hindsight, I know that I could have — and should have — handled that much better. I overreacted. Stef and I weren’t planning anything sinister. I wasn’t trying to hide anything (but my actions may have looked like I was!). It’s frustrating.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 