Dear Kaushambi:

Regarding this post above and your post in the other thread:

It is easier, way easier for you to set boundaries with strangers, such as flat-mates. The problem is with people you are close with, a best friend and with people even closer, the closest being your mother. The closer a person is to you, the less of you there is. Isn’t it so?

This loving TOO MUCH and perceiving that you are loved so very much, this too much love concept- this is in reality strong attachment, strong emotional attachment. Loving someone is being interested in promoting his or her welfare.

If your best friend like you wrote, loved you too much, then she would be interested to not burden you with so much talk. If you told her that you need your space at any particular time, she may be disappointed but HAPPY that you take care of yourself and more than happy to give you what you need: space.

I am pointing out the distinction between attachment and love. Loving relationship are WIN-WIN. Every single one. When you find yourself consistently in the LOSE, it is attachment you are entrapped in.

I hope that over time you will promote the loving relationships in your life, with your mother and with your best friend and with everyone else and discourage any and all LOSING propositions for yourself.

anita