* Bina: my reply showed no empathy to the poster, but it showed empathy for her husband. It is the social convention and myth that many women share and some never grow out of, that marriage should be a Happily Ever state of affairs and every unhappiness the woman feels, she blames the husband for it. No matter what the husband does to please the woman, the woman, the wife will never be pleased or content as long as she expects to be blissfully happy ever after just because she is married.

Showing empathy for the poster is going to promote this attitude. SHE NEEDS EMPATHY FOR HER HUSBAND for her own good and for his own good. Of course, I didn’t feel empathy for her, the poster so I didn’t express what I didn’t feel.

The husband, men, many are stuck in very sorry lives because of this happily-ever-after unrealistic expectation of the wives. The men are people too, no different than women. They get hurt also, they feel alone, they are afraid, just like women. They are not the stronger species mentally.

Of course there are men that take advantage of the social conventions and prey on young, unwell women. I am not referring to those. There are men who cheat, steal, kill, etc, I am not talking about them.

My point: woman, work together with your man, or leave him alone.

Yes, I am married. Are you Bina? Would you like to share your story?

Having stated all this, I will try in the future to be more empathetic to posters, to give certain thoughts time to percolate and produce a feeling of empathy before I respond.

anita