Thanks for your feedback all, I appreciate it. But lets focus on the purpose of this forum and not comments that are posted by others?

@Anita ,

Thanks for what you said, it is surprisingly true.

Three and a half years ago, I went through a break up with my then girlfriend. We were together for 4 years, my first proper relationship if you like. It really broke me in a way that I had only heard of from others. I felt I was destroyed overnight and the next morning began what seemed like an impossible weeks, months and years of recovery to come. It hurt in a way to I didn’t really know existed, I was mentally strained and anxious about basically everything.

Months went by and I slowly got back to my feet, I still had the determination to try win her back. But each time I tried, it just brought back more stress and I’d fall back into similar patterns again. Obviously I never quite succeeded, perhaps my mental state would not have allowed me either way. After about 1.5 – 2 years I was pretty much reinvented. I had learnt a lot, rediscovered a lot and I did like myself a whole lot better. I did try to go back for her one more time and it wasn’t successful, but this time, I felt I had the closure and I moved on.

Three and a half years have passed and I feel great with life challenges! I like who I am and I know there are constant growth thats always going to challenge me. After reading your post Anita, I know to this day, I can still remember one of the nights not long after the break up where I was freaking out when I was trying to get in touch with her but not really getting a response. Perhaps those are the feelings that I suddenly linked to in my present circumstances?

I have been single since 3 years ago, and I guess if I dig deep, I can see a sense of insecurity and fear since then. Perhaps this insecurity and fear combined with that rather traumatic emotional night was what I am reminded of last week when I sunk into that negativity?