Dear Kelly:

The dance of anger: I personally was horribly bullied by my own mother for two decades. I proceeded to bully myself for three decades afterwards while allowing some others to bully me, often not even noticing when I was bullied. And then, at times, I bullied others. This is what people do. It is my responsibility, I understand now more than ever before, to not express my anger, when I feel it, in a way that abuses another. I have to be careful about my anger, see the valid message in it and figure out if and what to do. Automatically, without awareness, people feel angry and they attack. This is the natural automatic inclination.

There is also another tendency, in a social situation like in a child’s playground or in an online site, once one or a few attack a particular person, the others join in. I call it the “public stoning” phenomenon.

I know this is the reality I have to live with, for as long as I am alive. Aggression in me, and in others, is a fact of life. And as I learn to manage my own, I know there will always be plenty of others who will not.

When you considered removing yourself from the website where you are bullied, what were your reasons for staying there?

Looking forward to reading your reply and thoughts about what I wrote here.

anita