Sorry about this traumatic breakup. It’s sad, you know, so many years, but you deserve better. He treated you badly, and you are not to blame. My good friend had a recent sudden traumatic breakup (right after a trip to Hawaii!), was made to feel the blame, etc., and was in total shock and disbelief as well – truly a tough time. Like you, she devoted a lot of herself to help this guy get on his feet, and then he got too confident and left abruptly.

What helps her a lot is exercise and keeping her body moving, which signifies the self moving forward. Tai chi, yoga, breathing exercises, walking, and working out.

This doesn’t mean you will ignore the sadness, but perhaps help you see things in the right perspective, and you will realize there is nothing wrong with you, it wasn’t your fault, and you don’t need him to be happy.

I told my friend to make sure she hung around stable people, and take a break and listen to super happy music. The sadness and yearning will come and go like waves of grieving, but tell yourself these feelings are only temporary, and you really will be just fine. By the way, good luck in grad school. That will be a great accomplishment for you.

As for the Facebook thing, do not be tempted to keep track of what he is posting. Perhaps the best thing would be do to “unfriend” him, and stop taking a peek at his stuff, you know, because that will lead to more blame. He has the nerve to let you see his personal stuff on Facebook anyway! He may find that this girl is just a “fling”, but too bad if that happens. Finding your own path to enlightenment does not have to include him!
Be good to yourself!