Dear Anita,

last year surprised me with a family crisis. Long broken relationships were terminated after I realized they have gathered together to discuss distribution of family properties without me. They deprived me of my legal share in favor of my sister after as my father passed away 5 years ago. But the worst hit apart from behind the scene negotiations was that they completely turned their back on me morally and blamed me for being an awlful person to them. Despite the fact that I am the nicest and kindest person according to people who know me and despite my belief that I am a bad person. People who know me always tell me I allow too much for people and am a push-over, even at times I feel bad for standing up for myself. So their accusations shocked me even deeper. And the worst part was, that I felt betrayed and let down unexpectedly by my support system (yes I still used to consider my family a support system despite some communication issues) in a very bad time of my professional life. Changes were done and due to workforce “optimization” I was too expensive for the company and was forced to leave my job in order to free space for cheaper workforce. Because things happened so quickly I did not have much emotional resources to do much about it, I fought till the end, but got exhausted, lost weight and ended up with a major panick attach. So I left my job as quickly as possible in order to regain my health, but I had not spared any money. My last salary was transferred to me in December and since then I have cut all expenses sitting at my home saving money. But I have also bank loan payments which are due every month, and basically have almost no money left. There are no close people around me to ask for a loan that could afford to lend me some money, the bank is no longer an option, and I am still strugling to find any job to fix my situation despite the fact that I have not entirely recuperated from this emotional and nervous crisis. I have deleted my campaign as I realized I sound like an internet scam.

Yes, and I only used a donation website, not a scheme one which steals your sensitive data, it was only up to you to decide whether to help me or not and how much to give. I would also appreciate a good advise. And my campaign was a small one, my target was 1500 euro, not tens of thousands as other campaigns. Maybe instead of my pity situation I should have used another kind of description, like one of the causes was “help me save for breast implants”. This is embarrassing, my life is a complete mess. And besides, I briefly described in this forum as well as the campaign description what I need the money for, and you say you read that but still claimed I have not said anything about my situation? I think that you are a skeptical person by default.
For the record, the expenses that I need to cover for bills and bank payment cost around 1000 euro, and I need to have some money for shopping (food, you know). The idea for my own business was mentioned because I did not want people to think of me as a desperate person who does not know what to do with their life. Don’t you think it is ridiculous to ask for 1500 euro for initial investment for a business when you also have bills to pay? I realize how pitty I sound writing this but even if they call me for an interview on my most recent applications, it will pass more than a month until I get a paycheck, for which period I am looking for all kinds of options for financial support.
If you pay so much attention an energy to read all this and reply to my post, why didn’t you use this energy constructively to ask me for more information and perhaps a proof of my situation? Just curious. And when I provided you with more details, you were even more skeptical.
I really don;t know who to turn to as I used to make a decent salary which in my poor country was way better than the income of my relatives and friends, I used to help them financially from time to time. And despite all that, I still had to take a bank loan and payments are now waiting for me. So I am practically broke. And embarassed, and people around me don;t like it that I need to receive help from them this time. THey were used to the idea that I am strong and have it figured it out, that no matter how they treat me I am still strong and hard working. Well I am not made of iron, I am broken in the inside now, I could not stand it anymore, the ways they always provoked me and made me do the impossible. And they way they counted on my strenght to make a good living. But guess what happens when there is so much pressure on you for years and years, and in one year you receive 3 major punches from life. And what happens when you are being betrayed from family, from coworkers and from a partner. You lose the very ground under your feet.

And especially for you anita, I share this
Everyone who is jealous of how I live and what I have, I wish him to have the same, to understand their lives.
Anyone who thinks I’m weak, I wish to experience all that I carry in my heart and try everything I tried to short years, to understand the force.
Anyone who thinks I’m funny, I mask to understand how difficult it is to wear it in a world of distorted perceptions and chaos.
Anyone who hates me, I love to understand what forgiveness and feel the power of the Divine.
Everyone who loves me, I love her to understand what support and friendship.
Anyone who betrayed me wish to be transmitted in the same way to learn what it is to believe people when they hurt.
Anyone who thinks he’s better, smarter, wiser and knowledgeable than me, I wish to live with their wisdom and to rob her fruits.
Anyone who hurt me, I wish to hurt the same words survive these wounds, to understand the wisdom of the pain and the invaluable lesson of awareness.
Anyone ever told “will crush” give a smile and give him the right to do it, give it to him with joy.
Whoever loves me sincerely, I give myself – a whole!
(sorry for google translation)

SO DOES IT REALLY PAY OFF TO BE A DECENT PERSON AND HELP YOURSELF AND OTHERS? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE THAT NEEDS TEMPORARY PUSH TO STAND UP ON YOUR FEET AGAIN??? TELL ME ANITA