Dear Sara;

Your pain is understandable, valid. You were left behind broken hearted by your boyfriend and betrayed by your friend. You loved them both, were honest with them both and they got together, leaving you behind.

This really did happen. It hurts a lot. So much so that you desperately want the pain gone. I understand. I know that kind of pain.

What I found useful after years of healing from neglect and betrayal myself is the following:

At one point I stopped trying to get rid of the pain. It had a message to deliver to me: life is unfair. People do hurt others all the time. This is reality. And it hurt to realize it was reality, that this is life and this is the world we live in. The strange thing is once I realized the reality behind my pain, once I didn’t try to get rid of it, once I realize I will have to live with a certain amount of pain, it shrank, became less overwhelming.

There is a high price to pay trying to get rid of pain any which way; a high price to pay for ignoring what is real. A high price to pay for making believe what happened didn’t happen, or didn’t happen like it did. See it the way it is and accept the pain. Take as much time as you need to do that. This is my advice to you.

What do you think? Feel? Please do post again…

anita