I dont know how i orginally stumbled upon tiny buddha, but on more than once it has been just what i needed. I read post especially from Inky and Anita and wonder if everyone is ok but me. I also though recognize so much pain in others here. I continue to be overwhelmed by fear not knowing whats next. I used to be a social working helping others and very good at i was. But the one person i dont seem to be able to help is myself. I havent worked in nearly 2 years today im a hotel w/my daughter. My depression is beyond darkness…i dont know how to rise up no money, resources or anything else. My support system consist of a friend 200 miles away and coming here to try and find some wisdom or a kind thought. Sometimes im awake for hours asking God to heal me help me but seem to have little faith in that happening. I try to be thankful everyday for having a roof over my head food or just the beauty of the outdoors. I have felt liky i was dying for months and a few days ago felt i had finally died inside there was nothing left. I am humiliated and exhausted. I dont know what to do to make it better or even how to start over. I find myself missing my parents..i want someone to rescue me i know that wont happen but i dont know how to rescue myself. I guess i posted this as a release. Of course much like all the people buying powerball tickets are dreaming of life changing wealth, i guess maybe on some level im dreaming that someone will post a list of what i need to do or how do i save myself. As always thanks for being there and for all the good thoughts…it does mean something