Dear H1978:

I believe his abusive behavior, yelling at you and blaming you, is not acceptable, has no right to exist and is wrong. There is no excuse or justification for it. It doesn’t matter how he feels, how frustrated he feels and it doesn’t matter if you do not clean the home and if you do sit down doing nothing all day (if so, maybe you need down time just recovering from his abuse and resting before his next attack on you). He doesn’t have the right.

His therapy: his therapist should have the two of you in the office and teach him, in your presence, to communicate with you without abusing you, to keep his voice down, to take responsibility for his feelings and not blame you. He needs to practice this in the therapist’s office. This is important for him to learn and practice in the therapist’s office so he can do that all the time with you, at home and anywhere else. You both should be respectful toward each other, non abusive. After this behavior is established, when there is respect, then the therapist should work on anything else and it can be done one-on-one with him.

Please post again:
anita