Dear Melissa:

You don’t sound bratty to me at all, such thought did not occur to me as I read your post.

I am older than you but my age, or anyone’s age has nothing to do with wisdom. There is more time in one’s life to experience the “magic” of insight and wisdom, more opportunities due to living longer, but I was not wiser until I started my healing journey, five years now. So my wisdom is five years old.

I find that when people ignore the past, like your boyfriend does in your descriptions of him, the past will catch up to him again and again. His way does not work. He will succeed in avoiding some pain at this or that moment, continue escaping full awareness of it, but nature of life is the pain he is avoiding will not be silenced. What one resists, persists.

In a way, it occurred to me now, the part of you that wishes him to suffer for what he did to you is getting its wish. Strange sounding, isn’t it? It LOOKS like he put the past behind and enjoying his present life. Not so. The truth is deeper than appearances.

Regarding magic, I used the word above. I feel that healing is magical in nature, in our brains. Now, let’s say “magic” happens a second time regarding your ex boyfriend. Like the first time he reaches out to you and at this point, apologizes. This will not be … magic if he learned nothing and only appears to be sorry for causing you pain. It will feel like a drug induced high in your brain but will be followed by disappointment and confusion.

Magic is in seeing reality for what it is. It is an amazing, and a magical process.

Your thoughts?

anita