I, personally, would end both relationships. The affair is obviously not giving you anything you need or want anymore and I would cut off all contact (especially since you state he doesn’t contact you, that you initiate all the texts, etc). And if your husband is not interested in communicating about the things you’re not happy with in the relationship then you don’t have much of a relationship. You won’t necessarily be able to get everything you want from someone, but they should at least be able to talk and acknowledge that if either one of you think there’s a problem then there’s a problem to be dealt with.

On another note, cheating on someone that believes you are in a monogamous relationship is never ok. I would feel awful if my significant other choose to have sex with other people behind my back when I was trusting that he was true to me. I’d much rather he leave me if I was unwilling to compromise when he discussed issues or, even worse, I’d be devastated if he just cheated rather than dealing with me.

I think YOU’LL be happier if you address these issues head on. And do some digging inside yourself. You can only be as happy with another person as you are with yourself. I noticed you mentioned your physical appearance…dig deep to see if some of this (especially the affair) has a basis in self esteem issues. There are plenty of happy, sexual couples who are far from physically fit so mentioning that in this context throws up red flags to me that you might either have some issues there or are developing them because of the sexual issues with your husband.

I don’t mean to offend and I don’t know you at all so I’m just offering what I’ve seen. Hope it helps a little.