Dear Amy:

I am positively impressed by you as I read these last two posts: my goodness, you are so very honest, direct, clear! You wrote of yourself that you are fragile (post before last)- you are, I suppose, but I also see strength! Great strength in your honesty, directness, clarity of thinking…!

The image or thought that comes to my mind as I just read these is of a person (you) waking up to your present life and you just can’t believe how messed up it is, as if it is a bad dream. I “hear” you saying something like: “This can not be MY life, no way! This is not what it is supposed to be! All wrong, all wrong… ” And you are banging your head against the wall, figuratively, “No, no, this cannot be it; this cannot be my life!”

Am I correct? If so, the word Acceptance comes to mind as a desirable goal because it is a prerequisite to change. You can change only what you accept first… resistance to what is real is futile. And this is what I see you doing, resisting what is indeed your life.

You are correct in that your life is not fair, how you bent over backward and he does nothing much, and even less since he has a live in girlfriend. And… life is not fair for many, many of us. It doesn’t take any of the unfairness that you are experiencing, but the bigger perspective, the bigger picture can be helpful.

I have many more thoughts but I don’t want to make my post too long because what I wrote so far is more likely to be lost. What do you think so far?

anita