Thanks for this EAR communication strategy Anita. There is definitely no lack of assertiveness on either of our parts. To me it is more like responding in empathetic, thoughtful, gentle ways. So, for example with this situation:
“when we were at the church was that he would like a person who could accept him for despite his faults, I started crying again, and said she’s right here but you’re pushing her away. He acknowledged that in a very kind way.”

The response he gave was verbal acknowledgment of his rough behaviour and apologizing and then giving a side hug (we were sitting beside each other) and trying to kiss me on the cheek, which I couldn’t accept. I was not quite settled and I don’t like people touching me when I’m not in a good place with them. Does this make sense?

That is one of my concerns, that I will become a mother to an adult man who is supposed to be my partner.

What suggestions do you have for discerning information from emotions? Getting to know them better?

Many thanks for your insight.