I just wanted to pop on here and say “thank you” to the original poster, Dina, and to all the others that have replied.

This post has helped me a lot. I have the same issues and seem to be suck in a state of negativity and unhappiness even though I am very fortunate. Like you Dina, I think mine stems from my childhood as well. I have a major issue with wanting to just run away from issues and give up because it seems like it would ‘solve all my problems’ but in reality I know it will not.

My parents are married still but growing up they argued (and still do) very much. I always saw my dad yelling and ignoring and manipulating my mom and then my mom threatening to leave him. I grew up knowing that it was not normal but still in the back of my mind I keep thinking my husband will eventually act the same, he hasn’t in 10 years, but I think he will and it keeps me from fully trusting him. On top of that I have depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and jealousy issues. It makes for a bad combination but though the years my husband never once said he wanted to leave me and he was there for me through all of the horrible accusations and trust/jealousy issues. And even then, I still think that I should leave him almost every time we had a big argument. I do not know how to overcome this “flight response” issue. I know deep down I love him but my brain keeps telling me that I shouldn’t trust him and I should keep pushing and pushing until he breaks so then my brain can say “Ha, I told you so!” i don’t trust myself either which is bad since I think something along the lines of “I can’t trust what I feel due to my depression and negativity, but what if he is really been manipulating me this whole time, I can’t trust him either so what to do?” He asks me, “Have I ever lied to you?” No. “Have I ever threatened or hinted at leaving like you do to me?” No. “After all this time you still don’t trust me and believe that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you?” No. And this all breaks my heart so badly as I type this. 🙁

I’m very glad you talked with a therapist and you posting what they told you really helped me as well. Thank you so much for posting this again. You aren’t alone in this. I just wish I had some helpful advice to give but I haven’t figured it out myself yet. 🙂