Dear Anita

I just thought I would update you. I am often quite honest with how I feel with my fiancé. She is often a great comfort to me, and she genuinely has a very kind heart. But, equally, I think she sometimes struggles with my honesty, as I sometimes say things she doesn’t want to hear. I think my fears are sometimes irrational and it is difficult for other people to understand them.

I am Catholic, so some of the bad things I have done in my past haunt me, and I don’t quite know how to get rid of them. I have an ideal in my head of what I should be like, and I so often fall short of it. Whenever I seem to get over one area of guilt or anxiety, another one emerges which becomes the next obsession. I think this can be hard for my fiancé – especially when they relate to her. Whenever I tell her about how I feel guilty about the relationship started, for instance, she takes offence – rightly so, you might say.

In all honesty, I’m a bit of a mess. I do feel I would be a lot worse if I did have my fiancé. Perhaps the fact that she seems to make me into a better person is something I should take solace in.