Hi Amber,

I am sorry you have to deal with all of the problems happening in your life. From everything you have been through and are facing. Let me try and help. The most important thing you should know is your anxiety is not only curable but is a blessing. If you listen to the advice I will give , you will at least have a “road map” to recovery.

Try and view anxiety as a fuel to activate motavation. It happens often in your case given what looks like traits of OCD and Obsessive thinking patterns. You build walls where there are none and in return suffer from it. It’s not what you have been through that counts but where you are going and that my dear you have power over. Sir Winston Churchill quoted “If ever you find yourself in hell…. keep moving forward.” . What is key to recovery is perspective… You have a choice to continue with the “victim mentality” where blame is put on previous events that were negative in your life to be responsible for the hardships you presently face. Or use the fuel of anxiety to make baby steps to a positive change that will lead to the best possible version of yourself. Your health is important , and your body only has one purpose to defend you from becoming ill. The questions I ask are what “weapons” are you giving your body to properly do its job? If you are in the circle of not eating or binge eating , make sure you are eating properly , healthy foods, fruits and veggies often. Exercise is key as it will release endorphins to better control the chemical imbalance in your brain. Force yourself to stay of the perscription drugs as some of them you listed are extremely addictive and you never want a “drug” to be in control of you , but you always having control over yourself. Willpower is important and you have it , you are fed up with the routine you live and in order to change you need to but in the work. Throughout University I was a major weed smoker , I don’t even think I ever went to a class sober while getting my B.Comm. It is actually a better and more natural option and has positive effects on the body (WBC count goes higer, relaxed etc..) , but when it is what is giving you financial strains , it has to go.

It is all about your state of mind and not building walls or excuses to justify.Again I feel for you on a very real level. But you HAVE to change your lifestyle and start taking the steps in the right direction. Write a journal , regardless of your faith seek help from what is inline with your convictions and comfort. Guided meditation helps , its kind of like turning down the volume from all the thoughts that race through your mind.

Secure your income , Create a C.V apply relentlessly as tasks your job will offer will keep your thoughts busy and you can start making some money to have full independence to never find yourself homeless again. It is not easy work , but it can be done. You owe it to yourself to be happy. It starts with a positive mind set . – Your unknown friend.