Dear Wisdom:

Again, we posted at the same time so as I typed the above, it was before I saw your second post. You wrote: “or maybe i really am just not lovable. i’m not small and petite. i don’t really think i look or seem delicate and that makes me feel ugly. and i have ugly feet. i’d hate for someone i like to see my feet. it’s already pretty sucked up that they’re size 11s.”

As I wrote to you on your first thread here, you are lovable. The fact that you don’t believe it yet, or that you often do not believe it does not mean you are not lovable, only that you don’t know it at the moment.

No matter your shoe size, how big your feet are, you are lovable. I know it feels like you are not, when you look at your feet… but what we feel is to be evaluated, understood so we get the true message behind any particular feeling…

When you look at your feet and feel badly, the true message is maybe something like: someone hurt you, hurt your feelings, made fun of you, of how you look (maybe not your feet specifically). The true message is: someone unloving hurt you. The untrue message is that you are unlovable.

Can you consider that the people who made fun of you for your physical looks were UNLOVING instead of thinking that you are unlovable…?

anita