I would think, as an older male, he would be more likely to want a relationship with his child. I think I’ve said it before; he has absolutely nothing good in his life (in my opinion). He is a lost soul who never experienced the innocent and unconditional love of a child, and not just any child (his gf has children), but his own flesh and blood. He received no love or stability as a child from his own father. He has no education due to dropping out of school at age 15, no life experience due to daily drinking since the age of 15, and completely dependant on others because he has been handed everything to him on a plate and enabled by his mother and siblings, and a defeatist attitude with no desire or drive to fix any of that. My child is the little ray of sunshine that makes his life worth living.

The main reason that I have been pushing so hard for a father-child relationship is because, if it goes to court for whatever reason, I MUST be seen as to be encouraging a meaningful relationship between him and his child. The way I see it, the better I look in the eyes of the law, the worse he looks. I need to give him just enough rope so that he can (metaphorically) hang himself. The other reason is that I don’t want my child to hate me in 10 years because I stopped him from knowing his dad. Everyone has told me from the start; “when the child is old enough, they will see his true colours and come to that conclusion on their own”. I can’t risk that. Because He lives the lifestyle of a teenager, he will be known as the “fun parent”, where as I will be the “strict parent”. As a child, with no concept of responsibility, which would you rather live with?

My dream was for my children to have 2 amazing parents who loved them and each other unconditionally. This is part of the reason I’ve been trying so hard to change him and get him to grow up and see things from my point of view. I have said numerous times that “I only want what’s best for my child”, and I meant it. The problem is, he’s not changing and I have done nothing but make myself sick in the process. Thinking about is, I don’t even think completing XYZ will make a difference. He’ll do it just to tick the boxes, and nothing will change. I would put money on it.