Dear Amy:

Good point. i see the difference between your mental habit (and I will call it “habit”) and addictions. In the first you think, think, think and in the others you engage in behaviors to attain the substance and abuse it. The second category of behaviors involve the thinking and the doing. Your mental habit is a lot of thinking and paralysis results, lots of energy expenditure for nothing, hence the chronic fatigue.

Wait… but the thinking about him, that habit, has a purpose: a part of you believes if you only think about it long enough and hard enough, you will come to a solution, only you haven’t come to a solution… but you keep thinking there is one. There is a purpose, however misguided, to all that thinking.

I am getting this image that… you took part of what is real outside of you, took it into your brain for the endless ongoing loop of analysis to the point where you lost touch with what is really… real outside of you.

For example, you took inside you the idea that this man is a very powerful entity in your life while in reality he is a middle aged, long damaged by alcohol abuse, man who is getting weaker and weaker by the day.

And you took into your head the idea that your child needs a mother and a father and that he… has to have a father while in reality, he doesn’t need that man as father and he needs his mother free of this habit that keeps her unavailable enough.

What do you think at this point…?

anita