Dear Dreaming,

Let me begin by saying I’m sorry for you pain and I understand it intimately. I am currently with a man who is similar to what you describe. We are both struggling doctors-to-be. I am always the one reaching out, comforting, providing emotional/financial support and care. He replies on his terms, on his time, whenever he feels like it. It is draining. I have ended thing before. He came back with umpteen promises to change. And now I struggle with trying to decide whether my feelings of emptiness and turmoil are my own emotional issues and fears rearing their ugly head, or if my heart is trying desperately to guide me away from this man who is all about him. A part of me wishes these past few months did not happen. A part of me is grateful they did. And all along I struggle to process all of his excuses – and there have been plenty (lack of time, childhood issues and consequent barriers to intimacy, introversion, his dreams). I spent a great part of my day beating myself up for tine discretions, apologizing for tears, apologizing for my emotional needs. I feel off centre, torn between my love and hopes for him (at the expense of my peace of mind) and my self-worth. You are better off not going through this any longer. I am much more invested now, and still question it and suffer for it daily. Breathe. He showed you who he is early on. Believe him.

Sending all the love in my heart and hope for you to find the peace you seek.