I’d like to share my truths as a 25 year old in her paradoxical existence.
For starters, the phase I’m in seems evolutionary – I’m finally at a place where I’m accepting and trying to learn from what’s happening. In the shortest way possible, I ran through the last 10 years quickly – the extreme rejection I had of being another statistic (teen mom) led me to full force and fledge on my career, education and relationships. I worked hard to make something of all of those things and with much detriment in between it all. I’m first generation and my family is uneducated – they don’t even know what I’m graduating in next year. I’ve sought help with my baggage – after trusting in doctors & being diagnosed w/ PPD and then bipolar disorder, I sent away with Rx’s for several medications at several times from several doctors – I felt like a silenced guinea pig most of the time, auto-piloting and ballooning myself to being overweight. I felt great but my self-righteousness told me that it was pathetic that I needed a pill to help me – so after some ugly episodes, I abandoned all medication and turned to action once again. To emphasize, I’ve always had a motivator or catalyst for the good I’ve done in life – and now I’ve severely burnt out.
Everything I’ve built is still in tact – but the severe emptiness and instinctual feeling of their being something amiss sent me to find answers. I’ve loved deeply these past years & am lucky enough to have to, but what’s missing is deeply personal to my self-being. I’ve smoked a lot of marijuana in the last year – it almost feels balancing to someone as restless and anxious as me. But the truth I’m 25 and continue to be a stranger to myself. I’m 25 and I don’t understand myself. I’m never not in a hurry and I’m unsure of what I’m even running after – crippling me and hindering me from moving forward to my best days. I often wish my principles were less that keeps surfacing is that I’m looking for something that’s inward – and the fact that I can’t figure it out is creating self-destructive behaviors. I’m 25 and so much more confused and in the dark then I would have hoped to be at this age.
existent so I could be more understanding of myself – who I want to be and who I really am disagree with each other to a frightening point. If I don’t spell this out, the clutter in my mind escapes out of me and leads me to leaving rocks unturned.
I want to turn over each crevice of my mind in the hopes of finding my own truths. Sharing my truths may give me a clear picture of what mine may look like.

My journey is far from over and it means the world to me – I still yearn to complete it. This constant feeling of lacking has jeopardized all that’s good that I have. I am absolutely ready to take care of myself and tend to my truths.