Try and keep it short but a girl i knew years ago but we lost touch, contacted me last april, added me on FB. We talked and talked every day, she messaged me all the time, it was great. Feelings grew and we got together in august, it was amazing, I loved her so much, it felt so right. She has a child and goes to college so her life is hectic and it makes her stressed, she has a history of meds and had a breakdown before, she tries her best, I work nights so we knew it would be hard but we would be fine, it would be worth it. After two months, we argued over silly things online when talking on mail on FB, she became distant and colder to me, pulling away almost. I could see it and it was killing me.

Her past relationships have all been bad and her previous one was her worst she said, he beat her and stole from her, done a lot. She said she was so happy to find a good decent genuine man, she said so much about a future etc.. I paid for a holiday for her bday and the days we went away she was cold to me still, my friends seen it and one said it to her, she got angry at me thinking I told them our business. We got home and we talked for days but 3 days later I told her I loved her we would sort this out and be fine..she replied with she did not see us working, we did not gel together and we rubbed each other the wrong way, she was so so sorry to do it over mail and that she felt this way as I was a good man I did nothing wrong and it upset her but she could not help it. I was so upset, I loved her so much. We talked for weeks after on and off and in Dec I mailed her to talk, we decided it best we delete each other on FB for both of us to heal. She said she was sorry again and I did not deserve her and how she treated me. I had a present bought for her child for xmas, I promised her so I asked her could I send that on still I did not want to let her kid down she said sure and she really appreciated it.

She text me a week later to say thanks for the gift she got it and she did appreciate it. That was our last chat on snapchat.. in December before xmas. I noticed we were still friends on snapchat since until last week she deleted me, is this gone for good you think? I did nothing to her and she said so, I was the most genuine decent man she ever met, I know it hurt her too, she said so, she had sleepless nights after it and she said her life is so busy with her kid and college she has little time to think about things but she said maybe one day it will hit her and she will have a breakdown, I told her she will not and keep going and she will do great in college and she is a great mother, I wished her the best. I do love her but i know her and she is stubborn and independent. Maybe I just gotta let go i know but when you love someone.

I know I should leave it and I have, I have no sent any messages and have kept in no contact, as hard as its been, I won’t break this way, we both needed that and do need it. I did not want to be punishing to her also, as I know she felt really bad and it must have hurt her to do it as well, its why I never said a bad word to her or sent any bad messages etc, I cared about her to much to do that. I know she will mostly likely never come back, but even after months have passed now, I feel she never gave it a real chance, she was in love with me, she said it 3 weeks before ending it, I felt it too. Then it got cold with some arguments online and our lives getting hectic etc.. I felt if she did not make a snap decision and waited, gave it time it would be special. Hard to move on fully when you feel like its a mistake you are apart.

I know she finishes college in two years time and her life will not be as crazy, maybe it will change, and who knows she may get more time to think then and about us, as we had no problems just time to see each other mostly is what killed us, we needed less time speaking online and more in person. She will do well, and she will find her happiness, I do wish her love and happiness, guess thats how you know you truly love someone when they hurt you, and you never want to hurt them back, only wish them well.

Any advice or just your view on this would be great and I would really appreciate it. A confused heart broken Irish man 🙂