Dear Andy:

As far as what happened, you wrote that you were busy working and going to school so you had less time to spend with her. You separated, and she became involved with another guy, someone she paid attention to, as a potential boyfriend, before, maybe. She consistently moved on, giving you no double messages but you remained attached to her, not here nor there- separated but not quite. It took you time to get it, that it was over so your “spiraling downward” in sadness and despair of having a four year relationship end, that despair was delayed until very recently when it is finally sinking in.

So as it is sinking in, you are finally feeling it more… and more. I think it is finally registering with you, that indeed it is over.

Delayed reaction, is what I think.

It was a serious relationship. At 20 to have had a 4 year old relationship is a heavy duty thing. So it is going to take some time to grieve it. You just started… Over time, while you let your feelings be (not repress, not push down) and as you take care of yourself (walks in nature, reach out to good people, etc.)it will get better; you will feel better over time. And finally you too will be ready for your next, most loving and exciting future relationship.

If it helps you to post here, as part of your grieving process, please do and i for one, will reply every time.

anita