Dear rachelforlove:

You were curious and now you know. If your relationship with your boyfriend is a good enough relationship for both of you then I hope it gets stronger and stronger through honest communication forward, about everything. I hope that you can and that you leave this one incident in the past without telling him. If you need someone’s forgiveness, well … do forgive yourself. You were curious, you made the wrong choice for the relationship by trying to satisfy your curiosity while in the relationship and you feel badly about it. The message behind feeling badly about it, is that it was the wrong choice for you to do what you did while in a relationship.

Next time you are curious about something, if it has an effect on the relationship, don’t act on it alone. Instead: talk to your boyfriend about it. It is okay to be curious about anything at all. it is okay for you to feel whatever you feel about anything and it is okay for him to feel anything he feels. Regarding acting on feelings, talk to each other first. So whatever action is agreed on, it will not be a betrayal of the other.

If you learned this, if you agree that this is something important that you learned, then … you learned and there is no need or reason to feel badly anymore.

Accept what happened and how you feel about it and try to move on, wiser now for what you learned!

Do post anytime, about this matter and anything else.

anita