Dear DH:

I recommend for you to attend psychotherapy with a competent, caring, hard working therapist like the one I attended, the one who taught me about Rational/ Emotional Minds.

Other than that, we can do some work here, just like we started, here on a self help basis. I suggested you talk from Emotional Mind and you did, you did very well. You sound very different than elsewhere. The child said: I feel lost. Alone. I don’t have a place to come home to. I hurt.

There is a third Mind: Wise Mind. Wise Mind= Rational Mind + Emotional Mind.

Your Rational Mind is not taking into consideration your Emotional Mind (same concept as the Inner Child). A Wise Mind will take the child (Inner Child/ Emotional Mind: I will refer to these as “the child”) into consideration. So both, rational and emotional.

You can’t be wise without understanding the child. What you have been doing is hiding the child, denying him, haven’t you? Did you not try to expel him from your psyche?

Here is what I recommend for you to do on this thread, with me: give the child more room, let him talk. As the child talks, you will find Rational Mind trying to take over… but stay with short sentences, child talk.

This is painful work and may need to be done in the context of competent therapy. If you feel overwhelmed, stop. This kind of work needs to be done slowly, at your pace, as emotions are powerful and need to be tolerated.

Let the child tell me more, if you’d like.

anita