Hi Anita,

Thank you sincerely for responding, I do hope you feel better again soon.

You’re right. I feel defeated, upset, annoyed and I’m just about ready to throw it all in and go and join the circus (…although I’d have to get myself some circus skills first). I’m not in a good space.

I was told I just need to let go and ‘be’ but I actually don’t know how to do that. I ‘do’, I get things ‘done’… that’s who I am and just ‘being’ isn’t enough for me. At least that’s what it’s looking like.

I don’t know how to be, what to do and how I’m going to move on from this. I feel hope-less.

Oh and a ‘replacement child’ is what I’ve named myself. My sister passed away at 6 months old and I was born 9 months after that, I inherited her name and all of her belongings. I often think my mum would have much preferred my sister to me and so I’m kind of out to prove that I’m worthy of the life I have (hence, the doing)

I hope this makes sense and isn’t simply the ramblings of someone on the verge of a breakdown…. or as Brene Brown would say, a ‘spiritual awakening’

THank you again x