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Reply To: Depressed due to guilt and fear

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#99580
ravi_zimmerfan
Participant

Yup I am glad that they understood. Regarding my grandma… trying to reason with her is a totally futile attempt. We tried and failed from years and years. Recently something crucial and urgent happened and my parents attended to it, something which she would never have let them do, but they realized its importance and just ignored her outbursts. So I used that as a point, and asked them when they chose to go against her wishes regarding that issue, why not let me be independent too after knowing that its affecting my psyche and personality otherwise. They had to agree. Must say this issue happened right on ideal time in order to let me have this point. 😛

Yes Jerry’s sense of judgement and observation is really sharp and unbiased, one of the many things I love about her. However this conversation I mentioned occurred nearly a year ago and this last argument is sadly very recent. I just wish to make up for it and genuinely make sure it never happens again. Though going by what she’s said after the argument, she seems more troubled by my changed feelings for her rather than the argument/foul words. Need to think how to deal with that too. She might ask me to promise to be just a friend and let go of my feelings as it will never work… but though I may keep quiet out of respect for her, I cannot change what my heart feels.

Yes that’s what I wish the journal to be; a heartfelt record of genuine effort. 🙂