Dear Ravi:

You wrote: ” I’m wondering if the roots of all this are due to my upbringing. Because of my lack of self-confidence and lack of self respect..” Of course the roots are in your upbringing (and since you are still living with the same people, this upbringing is still going on…)

The roots of you, Ravi, are in your upbringing, in your childhood. Anyone’s and everyone’s roots are in their childhood just like the plant’s roots are in the ground. And for the same reason: the seed is in the ground, that’s where it starts. The baby you were was born into your particular family. In that family, you started developing.

And just like a plant which grows differently depending on how much water, nutrients and sun it gets, and the closeness or distance from other plants, so do you develop as a direct result of interacting with the people in your family.

Ravi would have no anger issues at all, if Ravi was born in some other family. No rage problem. Can you imagine? It is not something you were born with.

This is why insight into the roots of our behaviors is so important. To uproot a bad weed, like the abusive behavior you display when enraged, you need to get to the root.

Please do post again… let me know how you feel and what you think and what is going on…

anita