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Posts by Itoro Bassey

Itoro Bassey is a Nigerian-American writer, mindfulness practitioner and educator. She is the founder of the digital course, From Surviving to Thriving: Becoming Your Own Inner Author.  This course uses writing and energy work to bring students into the present moment. She has been publishing on culture, identity, and healing for over ten years and now offers intuitive counseling sessions for those in need of support. Follow her on Instagram or contact her at itoroflower@gmail.com.

Itoro Bassey's Website

How to Let Go of Your Family’s Expectations and Be Who You Want to Be

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My parents often spoke about coming to America from Nigeria with one portmanteau.

I imagine that their suitcase was filled with their hopes, dreams, and expectations, and in many ways, I feel like I was metaphorically handed this suitcase of desires and things the day I was born. It would now be my load to carry and make sense of.

But when I opened that portmanteau, I realized that the clothes didn’t quite fit, and there were notebooks full of expectations I would never meet.

Although I had a reverence for this great object and the hands that had …

How I’m Mothering the Wounded Kid Inside Who Just Wanted Love

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“Bless the daughters who sat carrying the trauma of mothers. Who sat asking for more love and not getting any, carried themselves to light. Bless the daughters who raised themselves.” ~Questions for Ada by Ijeoma Umebinyuo

“I failed you…”

My mother said this to me after I confronted her about my childhood.

That day, I had a clear image of the young girl I was, the girl I had tried to ignore in the hopes of moving forward. But pain shouts when it demands attention, and the suffering was palpable.

A memory flashed within my mind. I had tried telling …